So today I decided to take a stand for myself.
Every day I am like I will be a better person for myself , I won’t let life pull me down, I won’t be treated like trash blah de blah.
No nothing life changing happened today, it was a normal day where my crazy self-prevailed and concluded with me giggling like a 13 year old girl. The limit had reached, a kiss was given to the brim of the glass and I felt the water tip over like a mother hugging her child after meeting him in a long time.
But I guess you can say today I got tired.
- Tired of waiting around for a life miracle to take place and make my life all right.
- Tired for the universe to help me out when it’s just a big bully wearing combat boots and stomping all over me.
- Tired of bad love screwing me over and over again and draining out all my positive energy which I am trying to hold onto desperately.
- Tired of begging to God for salvation because in the end we sow what we reap…of course all of that from the last births because as far as I remember I didn’t ruin anybody’s career recently huh!
*no disrespect Big Man, just getting it out of the system, you know free will and all…bro-fists*
- Tired of trying in vain and not getting anything in return and sitting on my ass cursing the universe, let’s face it, I am speaking to walls like a world class nincompoop.
- Tired of waiting…just too tired and no don’t tell me that I am so young now and I have all of my life ahead.I know what I have dealt with for 21 years so you have no right to tell me that my life has just started and blah de blah. I am very well aware when my life started thank you dear sir for the absolutely thoughtful reminder; I shall be forever obliged to you.
I am tired of all the bullshit people have to give. Too many stupid, cocky people in this world that I want to punch real hard.
Today I realized my life is too short and I have wasted enough on everyone who don’t even bother to wish me my birthday (not that I keep track, but yes with social media everyone knows when you were born, even your god darn bank wishes you. And a friend who says he/she cares for you does not have the time to acknowledge the fact that your existence happened on this very day…why did I throw away all that TIME and ENERGY on those people?!)
Basically this is an open letter to everyone who knows me and anyone who will meet me in the future that I can’t and won’t take anymore crap.
You like me, let’s be friends. Eventually I will like you back, because not many people like me for me.
You don’t like me, remove me or just tell me why, if you’re close I will hear you out and try to improve if I feel so. (No my very existence is not a reason I will hear, if that’s so then fuck you in advance)
You love me, say it. I will try my very best to reciprocate it, if not then I will not fail to be a loyal friend or anyone you can rant to. At least I am not using you and being truthful to you, if you can’t respect that in me then I am sorry, I have no fucks to give.
You hate me, say it. Then leave because I gave my last and only fuck to the friend who doesn’t like me for my very existence.
And for my part….
If I like you I will let you know, trust me I will be so clingy that you will have to pull me off forcefully but carefully because I easily hurt :3 and I am also cute to have around 😀
If I don’t like you I will stay away from you, but no I won’t be a cold heart-ed prick. If you think I am one then maybe I am just lost in something that I am doing. I did not ignore you while you were crying in the corner of the room. I just didn’t see you.
If I love you, I will always do so. Yes that is my Achilles heel which I guess you can say is bleeding continuously. I will tell you eventually even if I land up getting hurt. Because I don’t keep things like this to myself, I just don’t believe in it. Bad habit i guess, at least for my self-esteem *uncomfortable cough*
If I hate you, it’s only because you hate me. As a kid I use to say this a lot “if you hate me good, because I hate you more loser.” And I won’t be all mean, it would be that kind of hate that you come in front of me with a ruthless expression and I’d be like sticking my tongue out and say “I haite you too.”
Juvenile…say it! I know you want to!
I won’t hate you otherwise because I really don’t have any fucks to give. Seriously I am all out *sigh*